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Each day Dialogue Thread: 11/09/2018

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54 thoughts on “Each day Dialogue Thread: 11/09/2018

  1. u/psychosets here lol, “Little”update. Wish my usernames weren’t so fucking relevant.

    Today I decided I’m dropping out of university (second year) to live with my parents In my home country while I heal my mental health with medication and therapy and become functional and orderly again. My final rock bottom, as I know I cannot live like this.

    I’m almost 20. Was falsely accused of sexual assault (which fortunately got resolved, but not until everyone first thought I was a rapist). Had an ex for 3 years that became physically abusive at the end. Got mono for 8-10 weeks which was torture, then abused steroids, got my heart broken while hormonally FUCKED in June, and did some real reckless shit lately (like moving into a new house(which was good for me but now I have to pay rent for 2 addresses where I don’t live). I’ve had paranoid delusions, chronic severe symptoms of depression and anxiety (not leaving my room for days, panic attack in lectures, taking comfort in suicidal thoughts), in cycles for several years. Met some real shitty people on the way and also got addicted to Xanax and Amphetamines (fortunately detoxed relatively safely from that). I haven’t developed a work ethic and have relied on my intelligence and what I learned in high school to get very high marks first year without doing a lot of work. Oh boy.
    Last year managed to go To the gym 6/7+ days a week so at least I can stick to something.

    Some would call me a fuck up, and I guess that’s what I did. Most people In my life think I’m the role model for “having my life together”, because that’s how I come across in conversation and go my friends. But they can’t see the suffering.

    Fortunately I can afford it, as I’m upper middle class and will try to get a job this year to pay the debt off. Eternally grateful for my parents. I’m trying to not let this define me, I’m going to use this second chance to develop a good sleep routine, get my mental health treatment, develop working habits and hopefully be a productive member of society and re enroll into university next year. I’m also gonna be working my ass off so that I’ll cover all the money I’ve wasted by the end of the year, given my mental health is alleviated a little bit.

    I really want to find someone to love, I feel like I’m also a love addict, using romance and love as an escape. That’s pretty much what I did in my 3 years relationship till it went sideways.

    but I’m not in the right place. I want to find someone who loves me for the best version of me. Right now I just feel like a defeated corpse. Shame. Embarrassment. Fear. Regret.

    I really wish I still had that ‘drive’ to keep pushing through work. But I’m emotionally burnt out. I’ve struggled, it’s not like I didn’t try very hard to get better. I now need my body to properly recover with medical supervision and my mind as well. Lost over 23 lbs this month debilitated in my room. Paralyzed by my inaction.

    Turning 20 soon. I made stupid and impulsive fucking life decisions, I know.I still have hope for a good future. I’ve been considering dropping out since before finished first year, so at least I have that finished and can potentially transfer credits to a future course.
    I’m gonna try to process the past, and only take valuable things away from it, instead of the persistent neurotic rumination.

    All in all, I just want to do work that I find meaning in, have a consistent routine, have friends, treat people nicely, make people smile, laugh, feel special, connect on a deep level with someone.

    I have no idea how this sub will perceive this. Am I just making excuses for why I’m dropping out? I mean I guess so, but I know it’s what is best for me. I need to have less suffering and more structure to my everyday life, this isn’t working.

    /rant over, sorry for cyclical thoughts, more of a stream of consciousness kind of thing

  2. After about a year alternating between PPL and U/L, I feel like it’s time for a routine with arms day. So I’m hopping on an Arnold split. Wish me luck lads

  3. Coming up to 1 year of training.
    My upper abs (just below middle of chest) are slightly stuck out and I’d prefer if my whole stomach was flatter.
    Only ab exercise I do is declined situps with twist every other rep for obliques.
    Are my stuck out abs due to the fact I’m only doing situps? Should I be doing more leg raise type exercises? Any other recommendations?

  4. Just wanna say y’all are a great help sometimes. Don’t have many friends who share my crippling body image issues or love for lifting – so it’s good to hang out here. Kill your lifts and have a great day.

  5. Joey Swoll claiming he 5ft 9 on his insta story has given me far more of a laugh than necessary.

    Imagine being that big and shredded and still lying about your height

  6. I posted a video on YouTube detailing my current use of creatine. Gymshark have dropped me as their sponsor.
    Will glute spread for cash.

  7. Anyone got any conversation tips, I have a bad habit of just talking about myself without seeming interested in the other person. Need to work on that.

  8. I was looking at The Rocks ig last night and the comments are filled with people arguing if he’s natty or not. How do people fall for the *hard work and island genes*™ meme so bad.

  9. Bought a 7kg bag of whey and the scoop was at the bottom. Had to go elbow deep in powder to dig out that motherfucker

  10. What’s your guys thoughts on paying for a nutrition coach? I have a WL coach that does all my programming but my nutrition is garbage. He’s done powerlifting meets and bodybuilding shows. I’ve talked to him in person and all that. Super nice.

  11. Have spent about a year exhausted tired all the time. No clue, no medical reasons. Took some time off the gym because I was too lazy. Been forcing myself to go lift. Even if it not much and even if I feel like I am going to fall asleep. Either I will break out of this or fall asleep trying.

  12. Update on new job in the gym- went over to train this morning, had a good chat to the girl on reception and apparently they are crying out for another full time member of staff. Confirmed that I could start teaching classes while I study for my quals, and said she had no issues picking up PT clients and there was definitely room for another girl there. The managers had been chatting about me and were really keen for me to start. Sent over a copy of my CV, and now play the waiting game until their meeting on Monday.

    Training wise- dropped cals by another 100, doubling up on leg sessions, and needing a nap by about 3 in the afternoon most days. Such is life.

  13. So, snow came here a lot earlier than expected. The roads here are already fucked so I feel bad for any drivers that have to deal with this shit

    Sidenote: Experiences with psyllium husk while cutting? There’s a store near me that sells it in pill form: 160 ct for $5

  14. So what are the negatives of going to prison? Think about it:

    – you’ll get jacked
    – you’ll make life-long, in case of a life sentence, friends
    – if you’re a virgin, you won’t be a virgin for much longer
    – you really have the time to educate yourself on a myriad of subjects
    – work experience, if you lack it
    – free food
    – free accommodation
    – a clear aim in life (getting out of prison), which is more than most people have
    – a new perspective on life if you do get out of prison


  16. Gonna go to the gym and do a leg session and extra cardio even though it’s my rest day. I’ve been so fucking bored this whole week.

  17. I woke up at 4:30 this morning to lift before work, got about 3 sets in and then spent the next hour shitting. Went back to lift again when I finished and immediately had to shit again.

  18. The one goddamn time I buy some nice fuckin headphones I lose them in a month. Now I have to deadlift without music fml

  19. lol first post.

    I’m looking for a program that periodizes the main lifts (OHP, bench, deads, etc.) but has plenty of bodybuilding volume and accessories. Currently on Jeff Nippard’s Intermediate Hypertrophy program which does this pretty well in a L/P/P 2x week split, but I’d like to try something different.

    Any recommendations?

  20. Driving 3 hours away to stay with my girlfriend from highschool for a week. She hit me up a while ago and I blew it off until she brought up lifting and got super fine out of nowhere.

    Cheers to bad decisions boys. WERE ALL GOING TO MAKE IT!

  21. On leg extension going hard as fuck… look up and see the gym owner recording me. When he saw me looking at him he put his phone down and just walked away. Kinda fucking weird but okay

  22. People love to talk about tracking their measurements. Meanwhile mine haven’t changed in years. I walk around 6-8% leaner now than prior to lifting so I know I am ‘bigger’ but damn do I hate logging the same numbers every few months.

    On the plus side I’m headed to WV for the NPC Grand Prix. Last show I’m tanning for this season. Ready to have my weekends back and focus on getting those measurements up.

  23. Nothing makes me lose respect for a grown ass man faster than seeing him hit the handicap button on the door just so he doesn’t have to push it open. Smh.

  24. My gym membership expired 2 weeks ago (I pay for the year upfront with cash) and I’ve been to the gym about a dozen times since. Each time I scan my card and the person at the desk looks at my profile, sees the big EXPIRED letters, smiles at me and says “have a good workout”.

  25. Rest day 2 out of 7. I have no idea what im supposed to do with this time. Is this what people have friends for? Is this why people go drinking all the time?

    I might just do 4 rest days. I’m not fit for this bullshit

  26. Somebody said my arms and chest were looking good yesterday. Instead of being happy I just took it to mean my back was lacking. Is this making it?

  27. Anyone here who took accutane during teenage years? What was your dose? Did you experience growth stunt (When compared to other family members)? Do you have narrow shoulders/clavicles?

  28. Gym added a bathroom mirror with a bright ass led light around it. It looks badass and I can now look at all my flaws and cry all the way home.

  29. What do you guys do about really smooth/slippery benches? It makes it harder to stay in place when I bench press because I keep sliding a little bit.

  30. Just walked out of my first appointment with a therapist. Phew, so glad i got out of bed for it. Who knows how long this wave of positivity and “itll be okay” feeling will last, but i am feeling good right now. I can feel the happyness and joy in my face just from walking out of there. Been super stressed all semester, had life kick my ass a couple of times, but it will be alright. We are all gonna make it boys.

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